wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
