Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
