You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
