She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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