Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
