mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
