just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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