I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
