I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
