some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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