you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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