I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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