its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
