Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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