her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize