he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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