dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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