I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I understand Curling. That high.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
