I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
