I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
