Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
