her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
