Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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