He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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