someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
