my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize