we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
