rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize