Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
