This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
