who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Randomize
