He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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