see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
