; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
