She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
