somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
