Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
