I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
