help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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