would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Randomize
