I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
