You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
