i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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