Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
