WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Randomize
