I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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