I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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