I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
