Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
