You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
