Yo dont text me then not text me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
