it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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