They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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