I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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