You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
