Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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