Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
