Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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