I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
