you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
