you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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