Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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