whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
