I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
your room smells of hookers.
And success
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
